Saturday, January 1, 2011


I know it is already the new year, but I wanted to share something from a few months back.

This past year Thanksgiving came with a surprise for me; My beautiful children had come home from being out with dad, and while they were gone they had bought me a gift. I lit up when I saw the present all wrapped up and them so exited. As I stood in the kitchen unwrapping my gift, I could not help but be overwhelmed with joy. I'm so honored that God has chosen me to be their mother. So as I was fighting back tears (I didn't want them to think something was wrong) I opened my newly colored coffee mug that the kids had all drawn on. It was beautifully made - and just the right price point (from the dollar store). Well just as I was going to start thanking my kids,telling them how much I love them, and that I'm so grateful for them.

My oldest son Mason blurted out that he picked out the same one for his tummy mom (he is adopted). Wow?! all those "oohs" and "ahhs" I wanted to give out felt like they just left the building. It seemed to be almost like a physical pain I felt - and my gift didn't seem as special. At that moment it was as if my 7 years of investment as his mom (day in and day out) was not seen by my son or at least didn't deserve something more (something separate, something only mine) than the one who only birthed him. This was my "thank you" gift for being his mom, and it was the same as what he got for his tummy mom... As I felt the color and air leaving my body, I stared at my son then my husband. I felt like it had been a good hour with nothing coming out of my mouth (Hubby says in was maybe a few seconds).

I looked back down at all three of the kids (and fighting back tears for a different reason) they were all smiling; Mason was smiling the biggest of them all. I turned back to Mason and said "Yes, it is the same mug, and I bet tummy mom loves her's as much as I love mine, thank you so much sweety"

I gave each of my kids hugs and kisses, told them that I love them, and how grateful I am to have each and everyone of them.

When the kids ran off to play, I stood in the kitchen and I began to think about the day God placed Mason into our lives, and about his tummy mom, and all sorts of "What if's" fluttered into my mind.

what if we hadn't got are precious son
what if parental rights weren't terminated,

what if he wasn't placed into foster care,

what if his tummy mom had changed her life for him
(able to reunify),
what if, what if,
what if my husband had not let Mason pick out the same gift as tummy mom's gift?

Well as I was thinking about all the things I don't know, I realized that what I do know is that I'm thankful for each and every day God allows me to be called mom by these beautiful children - And although it can be hard at times, that makes all those other "What if's" flutter away as quickly as they come.

Praise Be To God